


In The Past: The Setter Chat!

by kazuluvbot



Series: love live haikyuu!! [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Chatting & Messaging, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu, Multi, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Pretty Setter Squad, Rated Mature for swearing and.. uhm jokes, Shirabu Kenjirou is a Little Shit, Tsundere Shirabu Kenjirou, im bad at tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazuluvbot/pseuds/kazuluvbot
Summary: Sugawara, Oikawa and Semi surprisingly start a group chat with other setters and thats just the beginning.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Koganegawa Kanji/Sakunami Kousuke, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Series: love live haikyuu!! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809280
Comments: 15
Kudos: 182





	1. the start of a natural disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to a new fic :)))
> 
> so um just wanted to make this clear that this takes place in the same universe as my other chatfic so sakuatsu and kagehina will be here but its not gonna happen (yet) in THIS fic
> 
> errr you really dont need to read my last fic to read this one either.

**Semi added Sugawara, Oikawa, Kageyama, Shirabu, Koganegawa, Yahaba, Akaashi, Kenma, Atsumu and Osamu.**

oikawa:

welcome to heaven! 

shirabu:

more like hell since you’re here

oikawa: 

oh ofc u salty stz setter remind me why u r here

semi:

we agreed on every setter

sugawara:

this is not EVERY setter

atsumu:

since when was samu a setter is what i wanna know

semi: 

hes still able to set, is he not?

kageyama:

hello

oikawa:

suddenly i regret planning this groupchat

shirabu:

who even remembers every setter’s name

akaashi:

I do. Do you want me to name them?

shirabu:

no thanks

kageyama:

yes pls

akaashi:

Alright, Kageyama-kun. Where should I start?

kenma:

just gonna ignore the fact that akaashi knows every setter

akaashi:

Not personally. Only their names.

oikawa:

LISTEN 

oikawa:

your wonderful setter,

which is me,

oikawa tooru

kageyama:

i thought you were gonna say suga-san

oikawa:

sfjjendke go away

semi:

he means your wonderful setterS (dont forget the S) suga, oikawa and i have gathered together today to make a group chat for us setters

osamu has left the chat

atsumu has added osamu to the chat

atsumu:

dumbass if i stay ya have ta stay too

osamu:

says who

atsumu:

says me

osamu:

i dont listen to ugly idiots

atsumu:

we have the same face, asshat

osamu:

im not a rat, sorry

atsumu:

BITCH

shirabu:

shut the fuck up

koganegawa:

OMG HI

GROUP CHAT?

WAIT IS THIS SETTERS

WAIT WERE IS MONIWA SAN

oikawa: 

we dont count retirements 😘

semi has added moniwa to the chat

semi:

bitch retired who

im still here

you too

kenma:

lol

akaashi:

Can we please introduce ourselves?

kageyama:

i thought you know everybody, Akaashi-san

Akaashi:

I do. It is nice for a little refresher though.

kageyama:

huh 

is there not a vending machine at your school 

koganegawa:

wondering the SAME THING!!!

shirabu:

idiots

semi:

be nice

shirabu:

no❤️

semi:

YOU DID NOT

shirabu:

i did ❤️

oikawa:

ah the romantic tension

suga:

iwa-chaaaaaaaan~~~  
  


oikawa:

where DID THAT COME FROM. i am sorry, suga-chan. i am not in love with iwa-chan if that is what you are implying. his arms can break me in two and i would be happy and thank him but that doesnt mean i like him alright? i do not love iwa-chan i will never love anyone but myself i am completely toorusexual. just because iwa-chan makes me go 🤰 doesnt mean i like him. like i said before i am proud to be toorusexual. fuck bitches get money (wait iwa-chan is not a bitch im sorry) i will never like anyone, and no one deserves the OIKAWA TOORU (except iwa-chan but since i put that in brackets no one saw it so its fine) 🥰

semi:

im suddenly feeling

✨ tooru-phobic ✨

suga:

i did not ask for all that but thank you for a screenshot worthy text

atsumu:

this will make good use in te future ;)

osamu:

i can and will expose you right here right now

akaashi:

Hello? Introductions?

moniwa:

Hello!

koganegawa:

MONIWA-SENPAI HI HI HI

yahaba:

what is this

oikawa-san, fraternizing with the enemies i see

oikawa:

SHH EITA AND SUGA-CHAN ARE EXCEPTIONS

akaashi:

Introductions. Now.

oikawa:

OK

oikawa:

Oikawa Tooru!

kageyama:

-‘s favourite food is milk bread

shirabu:

his personal motto is

oikawa:

STOP LET ME FINISH

semi:

if you’re gonna hit it,

sugawara:

then hit til it

yahaba:

BREAKS 😼

oikawa:

UFHSJC STOP

oikawa:

3rd year setter of Seijoh 🥰🥰

akaashi:

Ah, yes. 

oikawa:

thats it

nothing else to say

?

akaashi:

Ah, yes.

shirabu:

i kinda like this guy

sugawara:

lets continue!

atsumu:

miya atsumu, the better twin, the more handsome twin, 2nd year setter at Inarizaki ;)))

osamu:

ahem.

miya osamu, the BETTER twin and the more handsome twin. the one that’s hair dye actually looks good. 2nd year OH but i can set too so i guess thats why im here

sugawara:

sugawara koushi! 3rd year setter at karasuno!

akaashi:

I will go now. Akaashi Keiji, 2nd year starting setter at Fukurōdani. Nice to talk to you all.

oikawa:

why are u so formal

in text

anyone who uses capitals and makes perfect sentences while texting normally, i cant trust them

i dont even know what you look like to see if you match your texting either hhhh

akaashi:

I really don’t care about whether you trust me or not, Oikawa-san. That is your loss. It is not really my problem.

oikawa:

i will get you to text like us one day 😤

semi:

um

semi eita, 3rd year setter and pinch server of shiratorizawa.

shirabu:

yall wanna know the story of how a second year got replaced by a new first year setter?

koganegawa:

OH STORYTIME!

moniwa:

calm down kogane-kun

semi:

not funny

feeling actual pain atm

shirabu:

good

shirabu:

anyways

shirabu kenjirou, second year starting setter of stz 

koganegawa:

OHH ME NEXT

KOGANEGAWA KANJI! FIRST YEAR SETTER AT DATEKO

moniwa:

go go lets go lets go dateko

moniwa kaname! the teams third year retired setter!

oikawa:

ARE U HAPPY NOW AKA-CHAN THIS IS BORING

akaashi:

I am satisfied. It is nice to hear everyone’s introductions, but Kozume-san did not go yet.

suga:

neither did kageyama!

yahaba:

OIKAWA-SAN DID YOU FORGET ME

atsumu:

he just doesnt wanna hear it 

akaashi:

You stick around or you leave. Pick one and choose wisely

oikawa:

skssssksjxj fine this is getting boring!!

atsumu:

then leave pece out

osamu:

peace*  
  


kenma:

kozume kenma, second year setter at nekoma

yahaba:

yahaba shigeru, second year setter at seijoh 

sadly

oikawa:

sadly?

kageyama:

kageyama um tobio and i am a first year setter at karasuno

sugawara:

hi kageyama um tobio

kageyama:

hello

* * *

oikawa changed their name to better than u all

akaashi:

Hey, Oikawa-san? I found this video edit of you on Youtube. it looks nice so i wanted you to see.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69wEE420lmI8K](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

better than u all is offline

atsumu: 

osamu:

wow i bet the edit looks nice

akaashi:

It does, Osamu-san. ☺️

shirabu:

nice

kageyama:

can i watch it

akaashi:

Whatever floats your boat, Kageyama-kun. If you really want to see Oikawa-san’s fan edit, go ahead.

kageyama:

im not on a boat but ok 

kogane:

I PRESSED IT AND WOW NO WORDS

moniwa:

ah yes

no words indeed

akaashi:

It is a amazing edit, right? I hope I can find things for everyone. It is nice to be caring.

yahaba:

indeedy doo

where did oikawa-san go

the edit must have gotten him so amazed he left.

akaashi:

Perhaps it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irrelevant story but the first time i saw hoshiumi, i was laughing so hard and thinking the most dumbest things like “how the hell does he comb that hair” and “are those seagull eyes are natural? 👀” 
> 
> yes i now love hoshiumi korai  
> protecc him forever and um i kinda love his mom too 
> 
> that was really random haha


	2. we made up usernames, yay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they made usernames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry a new chapter took so long to come out, i have them planned too. A lot of things have happened to me in the past days and none of them were pleasant in anyway.
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading. im trying to write chapter 15 of my other chatfic, idk what its gonna be about.

better than u all changed their username to that bitch

that bitch:

THIS ISNT A GROUPCHAT WITHOUT

✨ USERNAMES ✨

sugawara changed their name to hot mama

hot mama:

ofc

hot mama changed kageyama's name to baby

baby changed their name to iluvvolleyball

hot mama:

that works too 

that bitch changed semi's name to hannah montana

that bitch:

dw abt it :))))

shirabu:

huh

hot mama changed shirabu's name to tsukki but cursive

tsukki but cursive:

what

hannah montana:

suits you perfectly

tsukki but curvise:

bitch take a look at your own username

hannah montana changed their username to spicy hot

spicy hot:

taking a good look,

and its all fax no printer

spicy hot changed atsumu's name into y'all

that bitch changed osamu's name to y'aint

y’aint:

what

y’all

we ain’t cowboys 🙄

spicy hot:

🤥

that bitch: 

might as well be 😘

akaashi: 

What is going on?

hot mama:

usernames!!

akaashi:

That sounds pleasant.

that bitch:

have u ever even been in a groupchat like um

akaashi:

Yes. I am in the 2nd Gen Captain chat and the Fukurodani VB team chat.

that bitch:

and you have usernames right?

akaashi:

Yes.

y’all:

i can tell ya, the 2nd gen chat was made like yersterdat

y’aint:

yesterday*

y’all:

OH SHADDUP STOP ACTIN LIKE YER ANY BETTER AT SPELLIN THAN ME

y’aint: 

why do u type in kansai dialect,

we speak it, we dont text w it  🙄

y’all:

JRJEHF I HATE YA

y’aint:

i hate u too 

that bitch:

SHUT UP

n e ways

iluvvolleyball:

this is taking really long oikawa-san

that bitch:

FINE THEN

that bitch:

if this was the captain chat we would be done by now 😾

iluvvolleyball:

then hurry up

akaashi:

Bokuto-san told me that you named him thick owl bitch because you were jealous of his “cake”.

that bitch:

WHXAIGNEX NO ISB DIDNT HOW DO HEJCH DO YOU JUST BELIEVE THAT DEVIL

tsukki but cursive:

all i hear is a jealous 🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞

that bitch:

SHUT UP YOU STALK USHIWAKA

spicy hot:

what

tsukki but cursive:

i dont stalk ushijima-san

i dont.

whatsoever.

spicy hot:

err..

akaashi:

Bokuto-san isn’t a devil. How can you not believe a shining star-

akaashi:

Yes, I believe him.

hot mama changed akaashi’s name into Bokuto’s #1 fan

hot mama:

just embrace it, 😇

y’all:

who even uses dat emoji 

y’aint:

bitch u use 😀 and 😜 without sarcasm gtfo

y’all:

NO I DONT YA LIER

yahaba changed their name to sweetie pie

sweetie pie:

whats up

tsukki but cursive:

sky

sweetie pie:

didnt ask you 

tsukki but cursive:

but did i ask you if you asked me?

sweetie pie:

um- did i ask you if you asked me if i asked you?

that bitch:

SHUT UP

spicy hot:

please 💀

kogane:

HI!!!!!!!

WHATS GOING ON?

OH USERNAMES! I DONR KNOW HOW TO CHANGE :((((((((

SOMEONE CHANGE MINE PLS :D

moniwa changed kogane’s name to kawaii bird

kawaii bird:

THANK U MOMIWA SENPAI

SORRY MONIWA* SENPAI :ddddd

moniwa:

no problem, kogane-kun!

spicy hot changed moniwa’s name to momiwa

spicy hot:

yall are sweet

if only i had this w my kouhai 😩

tsukki but cursive:

no one likes you

spicy hot:

and this is why tsutomu is my favourite kouhai 

that bitch:

eita is our underrated king, salt shaker 😾

hot mama:

stan semi eita for clear skin

iluvvolleyball:

daichi-san

hot mama:

THICK THIGHS SAVE LIVES

sweetie pie:

haha

tsukki but cursive:

shut up you furry

sweetie pie:

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM WHAT

tsukki but cursive:

🧍➡️🐶🧍🚪

sweetie pie:

JUST BECAUSE I PINNED KYOUTANI ON THE WALL-

WAIT HOW DO U EVEN KNOW THAT

tsukki but cursive:

shirabu knows everything

shirabu no tell

sweetie pie:

STOP USING THIRD PERSON 

tsukki but cursive:

shirabu says fuck you bitch

y’all:

i wish i had that confidence to pin ma crush against a wall

sweetie pie:

I DONT LIKE KYOUTANI

hot mama:

DENIAL AT ITS FINEST

iluvvolleyball:

what

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Chaotic.

y’aint:

very

that bitch:

AND WHOS UR CRUSH MR. COWBOY

y’all:

AND WHY WOULD I TELL YA

that bitch:

SPILL BITCH OR WE ARE KICKING YOU AND KEEPING OSAMU AS THE BETTER TWIN

y’all:

wait so yall thought i was the better twin originally? 🥺🥺🥺

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Yes.

y’all:

SAKUSA KIYOOMI CAN SPIT ON ME AND I WOULD THANK HIM

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Wait, I meant to say no. Osamu is better than you.

spicy hot:

autocorrect is a bitch 

y’aint: 

BAHAHAHA 

that bitch:

screenshotted 

kawaii bird:

SPITTING ON SOMEONE ISNT VERY SANITARY :(

tsukki but cursive: 

im sure sakusa-san would think the same but spit on atsumu anyways because he is a rat

iluvvolleyball:

#ratshavelivestoo

y’all:

IM NOT A RAT STOP IM LEAVING BYE

y’all is offline

y’aint:

the fun is over now 😔

momiwa:

theres always next chapter!

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Imagine if you forgot a setter in the chat. Oh, wait. Kenma-san.

that bitch:

GOENJFNDJDJSJFJWKDNWIFJWJFJJWJCJSJCJSKFJWJCJ WHATF NWCIKWJCJWJCJWJCIEILzixiwkkfjwj  
  


kenma:

hi

hot mama:

OH WHAT WERE YOU DOING

kenma:

playing

like usual

kenma:

anyway stream never met!

kenma changed their username to epic gaymer

epic gaymer is offline

spicy hot:

left as fast as he came

iluvvolleyball:

thats what she said

hot mama:

WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY HOW

that bitch:

gotta remember ur five w’s. 

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Don’t forget to remember Kenma-san too.

iluvvolleyball:

how doesnt begin with a W..? and there are only 5 i don get it :/

that bitch:

GO READ A BOOK

tsukki but cursive:

if only he knew how

hot mama:

STOP THIS MADNESS

DONT BULLY MY CHILD

momiwa:

Er.. lets just go to the next chapter now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, i have yet to write my bokuaka engagement one-shot which is exhausting since i have so much to do but im gonna get it done.
> 
> aiming for 3 chapters in a row of this fic.
> 
> thank you for reading!


	3. this could be us but you playin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa discovers fanfiction and reads iwaizumi x reader / iwaoi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do people read and write fanfics without some type of music in the background 😭🤚
> 
> this is also rated mature so um no complaints abt anything in this chapter :(
> 
> anyways balance: unlimited ep4 gave me so much serotonin that i was so ready to write for yall 😀
> 
> ALSO  
> (lucia and iyahon if u are reading, this is completely based on THAT convo i started 😼)

that bitch:

"This is nice, Iwa." M/N's sweet voice said, as he blushed when Hajime gave him a bouquet of their F/F as soon as they met at the park near Seijoh. Iwaizumi went red and intertwined his fingers with M/N's, as they walked towards their picnic area.

"I told you to call me Hajime when we're not around Shittykawa." He said and his cheeks tinted pink when he saw M/N's lovely E/C eyes have a curious glint as they looked up at him.

"I still don't know why, though. What’s the problem?” M/N waited for a answer with a small smirk, A sigh left Iwaizumi’s lips and he held M/N’s hand tighter.

"He's complaining and whining about me letting you call me 'Hajime' while all he can call me is ‘Iwa-chan’ I don’t want him holding some grudge against you.” Iwaizumi explained and M/N grinned then sat down on a plaid red blanket on the grass, and containers of food spread in the middle.

"Hajime..You did this, just.. for me?" M/N blushed a deep red, and the taller ace nodded his head, earning a bright grin and a chaste kiss on the lips. They sat down ready to munch down the food, unaware of the others, nearby. 

spicy hot:

um

what

hot mama:

is that iwaizumi x reader...?

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Oikawa-san, you read Iwaizumi x Reader? But, aren’t you a character in it?

that bitch:

SHUSH STOP RUINING MY DREAMS

hot mama:

huh.. but you’re just his best friend in this or smth

tsukki but cursive:

wrong group chat?

sweetie pie: 

um oikawa-san..?

y’aint:

what the fuck did i just read

iluvvolleyball:

i though oikawa-san was tooru-sexual

spicy hot:

why dont you just read oikawa x iwaizumi

that bitch:

but.. thats third person 😩😩😩😩😩

spicy hot:

so?

our secret:

tendou reads fanfics of himself and wakatoshi 

dont think its a big deal in third person

tsukki but cursive:

im telling tendou-san

spicy hot:

NO STOP

y’all:

do yall read the lemon

;)

spicy hot: 

you do, dont u

y’all:

what no just asking 

cant ask questions?

is rhay a problemz

y’aint:

ur spelling is a problem

y’all:

WHY IS HE STILL HERE

that bitch:

LEMON? WHATS LEMON

spicy hot:

iykyk

that bitch:

EITA TELL ME

hot mama:

surprised OIKAWA doesnt know what it is

iluvvolleyball:

what is lemon

bokuto’s #1 fan:

It’s a fruit, remember?

kawaii bird:

MAYBE WE SHOULD SEARCH IT UP 

bokuto’s #1 fan:

It’s just a fruit.

kawaii bird:

OH UR RIGHT LOL

iluvvolleyball:

i knew it was a fruit

:/

momiwa:

nice save, akaashi-kun

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Of course.

that bitch:

WAIT AKAA-KUN KNOWS WHAT IT IS

AND I DONT

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Yes.

Y’aint: 

search it up, it aint that hard.

that bitch:

GUEJVJE OK FINE 

BYE

* * *

that bitch:

allow me to read a paragraph of iwa x reader ✨ lemon ✨

hot mama:

THERE ARE KIDS HERE

that bitch:

 _”h..how is that gonna fi...fit?”_ I think as Iwaizumi chuckles darkly and handcuffs you to the bedframe. He pulls off your shirt and starts to kiss your lips all the way down to your-

spicy hot:

STOP PLEASE 

hot mama:

OH TO SEE WITHOUT MY EYES

momiwa:

WHERES THE BLEACH

epic gaymer:

jared, 19

that bitch:

You moan as Iwaizumi puts his hand-

y’all:

WHY DID YALL TELL HIM ABT LEMEON 

y’aint:

YOU STARTED IT DUMBASS

that bitch:

“Stop doing that, you are turning me on even more.” Iwaizumi says so you decide to tease him-

iluvvolleyball:

what 

um........

bokuto’s #1 fan:

I am very uncomfortable with the energy we’ve created in the studio today. 

tsukki but cursive:

what the fuck

kawaii bird:

WHAT IS HAPPENING

that bitch:

You bite your bottom lip and look at him innocently which has him blush deeply-

sweetie pie:

im screenshotting and telling iwaizumi-san

that bitch:

WAIT STOP PLEASE YAHABA NO 

YAHABA WAIT

sweetie pie is offline

spicy hot:

LORD YAHABA 😩

that bitch:

FJJWJXJWKCKQKCKWKKXKSCJNWJVJJEJXJSJXJSJX JFJWKXJWN STOP STOP STOP NOOOOO STOPPP

hot mama:

BLAME THE TWINS

y’aint:

I DIDNT START SHIT IT WAS ATSUMU

y’all:

YA TOLD EM TO SEARCH IT

y’aint:

YOU BROUGHT THE WHOLE THING UP 

y’all: 

ITS YER FAULT SAMU

y’aint:

ITS UR FAULT TSUMU DONT BLAME ME

that bitch:

WAIT YAHABA U LITTLE PISSY KOUHAI

I CAN BLACKMAIL U RIGHT NOW 

sweetie pie:

UH SURE U CAN LMAO

that bitch:

I WILL SPILL ABOUT THE NOTEBOOK I FOUND IN THE LOCKER ROOM

tsukki but cursive:

SPILL SPILL SPILL

sweetie pie:

FINE FINE I WONT TELL IWAIZUMI-SAN

that bitch:

GOOD CUZ I HAD THE WHOLE PARAGRAPH COPY AND PASTE 

iluvvolleyball:

i told iwaizumi-san

spicy hot:

bye-

that bitch:

TOBIO-CHAN

EJGJJENXNWJSWJDKKWKZKWMD UR HOKING DIXHWJ YOU DID NOT

I HATE YOU SO MUCH 

IWA ISNT HERE TO STOP ME NOW

hot mama:

ARE U THREATENING MY CHILD

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Chaotic.

y’aint:

very

epic gaymer:

lol

you guys are annoying

except keiji

and sugawara

maybe moniwa too

and osamu

that bitch:

NOW HES GONNA MESSAGE ME CJWNCMAMCKWIJXCWKXKKW 

momiwa:

BLOCK HIM

kawaii bird:

VERY SAD

tsukki but cursive:

this is very amusing

that bitch:

NO IT ISNT

WHAT IF USHIBAKA DECIDED TO DO THIS TO U

spicy hot:

wakatoshi wouldnt do this

tendou would

that bitch:

DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER

epic gaymer:

im laughing like kuroo rn

this isnt normal

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Same. Out of the sort. My mother is asking me if I am okay. That doesn’t usually happen.

that bitch is offline

iluvvolleybal:

i didnt do anything wrong, did i?

spicy hot:

no everything is okay

everything is just fine 😎

* * *

my future hubby wubby 😻:

so care to explain what the FUCK kageyama sent me?

very bitchykawa:

UHM THOSE ARE CLEARLY EDITED

my future hubby wubby 😻:

doesnt look edited to me :/

UR WEIRD IDK WHAT KAGEYAMA SENT ME WHY DID IT SAY THAT STUFF AND I KNOW YOU SAID IT 

very bitchykawa:

NO TRSUT ME IWA-CHAN WE WERE FRIENDS SINCE CHILDHOOD

my future hubby wubby 😻:

HARD TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO CANT SPELL TRUST

very bitchykawa:

TYPOS OKAY HOW ABOUT WE JUST FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED OKAY?

my future hubby wubby 😻:

hard to forget “h..how is that gonna fi..fit?” but ok

very bitchykawa:

IWA-CHAN PLEASE-

but will it fit really? [read]

IWA-CHAN IM JOKING DONT DISAPPEAR ON ME [not sent]

NO 😭[not sent[

* * *

that bitch:

tyvm tobio-chan 😾

he blocked me

iluvvolleyball:

oh

no problem

i would block you too so its ok

that bitch is offline

tsukki but cursive:

im still waiting on that tea on the notebook 

spicy hot: 

tbh same

y’all:

im dyin to know

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Me too.

sweetie pie:

YOU GUYS WONT KNOW STOP IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i give you
> 
> ✨ nothing ✨
> 
> look i did NOT write the X reader parts  
> i took bits and pieces from wattpad, i hated writing it tho ngl 😭
> 
> also iwaizumi cant see the same oikawa gave him,  
> its like oikawa gave him a username but iwa cant see it  
> and iwa gave oikawa a username but oikawa cant see it !
> 
> i wanted to do bokuaka week but i am horrible at writing actual narratives i dont know why people tell me im a good writer  
> i really loved the prompts too but yeah, my confidence aint it 😔🤚
> 
> ty for reading !


	4. and thats on sammich ver.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and here we go with yagami yato’s oikawa video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if u hate yagami im sorry but thats this whole chapter
> 
> dw i dont like her either 😭

that bitch:

FELLOW SETTERS

I HAVE A ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE

kawaii bird:

STOP BULLYING

spicy hot:

everyone i have a announcement to make

tsukki but cursive:

eat ass

that bitch:

STOP U STINKY BOTTOMS AND LISTEN

spicy hot:

bottom? me?

that bitch:

SO I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING

hot mama:

this better not be like yesterday

bokuto’s #1 fan:

I have nightmares about yesterday.

momiwa:

*shudder*  
  


spicy hot:

we dont speak of

yesterday

iluvvolleyball:

ok

that bitch:

so can i finally finish or what

spicy hot:

wait

that bitch:

??

spicy hot:

ok yeah u can

that bitch:

um ok ANYWAYS

I HAVE FOUND A WONDERFUL THING

THIS AMAZING THING IS CALLED

YAGAMI YATO

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Oh.

epic gaymer:

very nice..

haha..

aha

that bitch:

DO U TWO ALREADY KNOW HER

bokuto’s #1 fan:

What are you saying..? Of course I don’t.

epic gaymer:

he listened to bokuto’s one

bokuto’s #1 fan:

YOU LISTENED TO ALL THREE OF KUROO-SAN’S

epic gaymer:

SNITCH

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Look who's talking Mr. “chibi-chan.”

hot mama:

what is this? does it have daichi 👀👄👀

that bitch:

WHAT AKAA-CHAN UR JOKING

spicy hot:

so searched it up all of us

and they made

suga, tooru, kenma, kageyama and AKAASHI

IM NOT THERE WHAT

tsukki but cursive:

no one wants to hear u anyways

no one likes u

spicy hot:

not what u said to taichi

tsukki but cursive:

what

what did taichi say

tell me

semi-san

hello?

that bitch:

ANYWAYS I FOUND MYSELF AND I LISTENED TO IT

AND OH I SOUND AMAZING 

hot mama:

lets hear it-

spicy hot:

no

tsukki but cursive:

jealous?

also tell me what taichi said now

spicy hot:

anyways

hot mama:

LETS LISTEN TO TOORU’S!

epic gaymer:

im pretty sure there is more than one

sweetie pie:

please no

that bitch:

OKAY LETS GO

spicy hot:

SHIT WHY

that bitch: 

[look this is government confidential- i didnt tell you about this site-](https://data.yiff.party/patreon_data/11851014/37716378/Pat_Oikawa_01.mp3)

spicy hot:

WHY THE FUCK IS IT EXTREME

iluvvolleybal:

what is sammich 🗿

hot mama:

kageyama imma need you to go message hinata about watching a movie

iluvvolleyball: um ok

iluvvolleyball is offline

momiwa:

AH YES KOGANE-KUN GO OUT WITH SAKUNAMI PLES

kawaii bird:

well thats random!!!

kawaii bird is offline

y’all:

WHATS HAPPENIN IN ERE

y’aint: 

i feel scared to press on that link

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Do not worry. It is just a Yagami Yato video of Oikawa-san.

y’aint:

uh no

y’all:

EW

that bitch:

STFU U DONT EVEN HAVE ONE OF YOUR OWN

y’all:

EXCUSE ME ILL GET ONE RIGHT NOW YOU ASSHOLE

that bitch:

ID LIKE TO SEE IT HAPPEN

MAKE IT 

MAKE YAGAMI GIVE YOU ONE HUH

THOUGHT SO

hot mama:

omg shut up everyone press the link

y’aint:

i am not listening to oikawa extreme sammich shit

hot mama:

well hey lets stop before that happens because me neither 😀🤚

spicy hot: 

all in favor, say EYE

y’aint:

EYE

hot mama:

EYE

epic gaymer:

EYE

bokuto’s #1 fan:

EYE.

y’all:

EYE

momiwa:

EYE!!

tsukki but cursive:

eye

sweetie pie:

EYEYEYEYEYEYYEYEYEYEYE

that bitch:

WHAT NO ITS GONNA BE BORING THEN

spicy hot:

no one cares about your toorusexuality go listen to that part on ur own 

hot mama:

okay everyone press in

3

2

1!!

* * *

spicy hot:

”aNd jUst WhAt dO yOu thInk yOur DoiNg hErE?”

hot mama:

”i MeAn tHat LooK oN yoUr fAce of DespEratIon”

epic gaymer:

“i kinda dig it 😀”

that bitch:

STOP IT

grr bark BARRK WOOF BARRK ARF

IM BARKING AT MY OWN ‘VOICE’

tsukki but cursive:

shut the fuck up

cant believe im listening to this

sweetie pie:

DONT DISRESPECT UR SENPAI

tsukki but cursive:

u sound like semi-san

spicy hot:

EXCUSE ME

that bitch:

U GUYS R LISTENING RIGHT?

y’all:

yuh sadly

y’aint:

HE JUST SNORTED OOFNDKCJSK

bokuto’s #1 fan:

“take me out on a all expenses paid date!”

Little bitch.

that bitch:

WOW 

spicy hot:

ngl he kinda sounds hot

that bitch:

😻😻😻😻

hot mama:

HOW DARE HE TELL ME THAT ABOUT MY CHILD

epic gaymer:

yuck hes hitting on us

and hes bragging of how better he is than kageyama

that bitch:

well it is true what im saying, am i wrong :)

hot mama:

yes

tsukki but cursive:

ew whats happening hes flirting 

spicy hot:

hes paying for everything

sugar daddy vibes

that bitch:

OMG JUST LET ME LISTEN

bokuto’s #1 fan:

”Tooru Oikawa, that’s my name.” Who asked and why do you seem so proud of that?

hot mama:

oh wait dont you forget his worthless pride, akaashi 😿

that bitch:

THIS IS SLANDER 

spicy hot:

we know?

hot mama:

called me little cutie

and gave me his number 🥵🥵🥵🥵

sweetie pie:

this actually sounds like oikawa-san

tsukki but cursive:

we know?

epic gaymer:

”if you wanna get out of uniform and other uniform, we can arrange that.”

🤢🤢🤢🤢

that bitch:

why did yall want to listen if you were gonna DISRESPECT

UR SUPPOSED TO SWOOON FOR IT

epic gaymer:

i dont watch yagami to swoon, i watch it to laugh

bokuto’s #1 fan:

And other funny jokes you can tell yourself. Volume 1.

epic gaymer:

you cant talk

spicy hot:

this shit is 44 min long

sweetie pie:

we are not going to listen to the whole thing right?

hot mama:

DEFINETLY NOT.

tsukki but cursive:

this bitch just said he thought of us last night and other details we wouldnt wanna hear

i am ✨ creeped out ✨

momiwa:

SAME HELP ME

that bitch:

>:((

hot mama:

awwh tooru we love you, this is just funny 🥺

spicy hot:

yeah

tsukki but cursive:

whos “we”

y’all: 

i wanna know dat too

y’aint:

👀

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Aha..

epic gaymer:

🏃🏻♂️💨

momiwa:

err..

sweetie pie:

uhm anyways..

hot mama:

TOORU UR SO HORNY IN THIS

that bitch:

oh yeah i know 🥵

spicy hot: 

make iwaizumi listen

that bitch:

HOW COULD YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING TO HORRID BUT WONDERFUL?

epic gaymer: 

do it, i dare you

momiwa:

did we forget we were listening to this 

tsukki but cursive:

how could i when this guy is flirting w me 

that bitch:

you dont like it :((

tsukki but cursive: 

no

hot mama:

he got addicted to flirting

he just said it 😔🤚

sweetie pie:

weird

spicy hot:

he doesnt wish to be horny anymore-

he just wants to be happy 😭

same-

tsukki but cursive:

same..?

hot mama:

same. 😔

that bitch:

lets listen some more and then we stop because uhm.. iwa-chan is spamming me

y’aint:

why

that bitch:

UH IDK

y’all:

did ya send the link to em

that bitch:

..

spicy hot:

Tooru...

that bitch:

MAYBE I DID MAYBE I DIDNT 

BUT I HAVE 15 MORE MINUTES BEFORE HE COMES BREAKING DOWN MY ROOM DOOR

momiwa:

there is no way he listened to it and finished before we did

bokuto’s #1 fan: 

I agree.

that bitch:

maybe.. i told him to go to a certain time of the audio 🥺

hot mama:

i-

y’aint:

had it comin

epic gaymer:

lol

spicy hot:

your a idiot

that bitch:

i am NOT

i am a genius setter 🤩

tsukki but cursive:

”oikawa tooru is not a genius setter.”

that bitch:

eita-chan get your little kouhai before i do

hot mama:

ALRIGHT LETS LISTEN TO THE NEXT 14 MINUTES

epic gaymer:

EVER SINCE HE WAS THREEE-

bokuto’s #1 fan:

We are making the audio seem chaotic.

y’aint:

very

y’all:

did i just hear 6

6 times

epic gaymer:

did his ‘nightly routine‘ 6 times while thinking of us

momiwa:

WAIT CONTINUOUSLY OR JUST 6 DIFFERENT TIMES

that bitch:

OFC IT WAS 6 DIFFFERENT TIMES

BUT IF NOT, IM A GOD FOR THAT 🥵🥵🥵

spicy hot:

no❤️

hot mama:

just no❤️

tsukki but cursive:

IT WAS FUCKING CONTINUOUSLY 

HE JUST SAID “and the other six things i did about you last night.”

y’all:

im out

y’all is offline

y’aint:

WHAT THE FAWK

that bitch:

SEX GOD OVER HERE 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

epic gaymer:

🤢🤢🤢🤢

sweetie pie:

i cant

sweetie pie is offline

momiwa:

i did not just hear that correctly

momiwa is offline

that bitch:

AND THEN THERE WERE 7

tsukki but cursive is offline

that bitch:

SIX

OSAMU AKAASHI KENMA DONT YOU DARE

bokuto’s #1 fan:

I am scared.

y’aint:

dont worry, kaashi. me too

spicy hot:

HES SO SMUG ABOUT THIS SHIT I CANT-

hot mama:

his night time activities are not all it seems

that bitch:

DIRTY MINDED PERVERTS HAHA

spicy hot:

okay mr. “sexgod”

y’aint:

dont remind me

bokuto’s #1 fan:

I’d like to leave now.

epic gaymer: 

this is funny but same

arent 15 minutes done

that bitch:

ITS ONLY BEEN 6 MINUTES

hot mama:

What NO 

y’aint:

apparently it has..?

epic gaymer is offline

bokuto’s #1 fan:

Ah.

hot mama:

AKAASHI GO LEAVE ITS YOUR ONLY CHANCE

that bitch:

NO

y’aint:

lets go kaashi

y’aint is offline

bokuto’s #1 fan is offline

that bitch:

(；一_一)

spicy hot:

ee he just kissed us

hot mama:

he keeps on KISSING US 

that bitch:

HAHHAHAHAH

hot mama: 

hes happy now im happy 🥺

spicy hot:

we are NOT oikawa simps but this kinda cute 👀

spicy hot:

HES CRYING

hot mama:

NOOOOOOOOOO

that bitch:

AAAAAAAAAAAH

IM CRYING AT MYSELF CRYING?

hot mama:

everyone missing out

spicy hot:

NOW HES BACK TO KISSING-

hot mama:

he is being very sweet i uhm..

that bitch: 

REGRET MAKING FUN OF IT NOW?

spicy hot:

no 

hot mama:

HELP I CANT ITS REALLY CUTE AND UM

spicy hot:

this has to end before that one part

that bitch:

UH I THINK I SEE IWAIZUMI RUNNING TOWARDS MY HOUSE

spicy hot: 

and well the fun is over

hot mama:

WELL HE DID SHOW IWAIZUMI THAT EXTREME PART SO

that bitch:  
WELL I DONT WANNA DIE SO LETS CONTINUE THIS LATER

LOVE YALL

STAY BARBS

LISTEN TO YOUR DAILY NICKIIII

spicy hot:

OFC BITCH

hot mama:

YUH

that bitch:

SHIT IM GONNA HIDE IN THE CLOSET SEE YA

that bitch is offline

spicy hot:

i- cant stop listening uh bye-

hot mama: 

now you said there was one of me..?

hahahaha bye eita 😀🤚

hot mama is offline

spicy hot is offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still dk whats happening on august 27 someone tell me im behind the times
> 
> IM ALSO SORRY IF U PRESSED THE LINK AND LISTENED BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THE SAMMICH STARTS I DIDNT EVEN LISTEN TO THE WHOLE THING MYSELF 😭😭


	5. stealing diamonds and killing pets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the setters play minecraft and trouble comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of chapters- i got my phone taken away so i am using my brothers phone. its a risk im willing to take lmaooo
> 
> im also working on a little something hehe  
> well hugs and kithes to all of you. i started high school but ill try to write <3

hot mama:  
lets play minecraft today !

y'all:  
i thoguht we were gonna play roblox

that bitch:  
we are doing that tomorrow tsumu-chan were u not paying attention when we played fortnite yesterday?

y'all:  
uhhh

spicy hot:

we should also never play fortnite again, im not carrying any of u losers w me and kenma anymore

tsukki but cursive:

i swore kenma was the one carrying YOU

spicy hot:

yall hear sum?

epic gaymer:

👀 👀

iluvvolleyball: 

mincecraft?

bokuto's #1 fan:

Minecraft.

I have a server already. I made it when the team had wanted to play but none of them knew how to make one.

y'aint:

well i guess we can

kawaii bird: 

SOUNDS FUN

momiwa: 

ok!

sweetie pie:

ill join

hot mama:

send it in and we will play!

* * *

hot mama:

oikawa kageyama i dont wanna hear u two arguing over wood please <3

iluvvolleyball:

suga san he is getting birch when i said i wanted it

that bitch:

ION WANT OAK WTF

epic gaymer:

oak is the og, mane

bokuto's #1 fan:

I don't see the point in arguing about wood when we are all going to end up having the same wood anyway.

spicy hot:

lich rally 🗿

y'all:

SAMU IS THREATENIN ME 

HE SAID HE GONNA BURN MA HOUSE THIS IS CRIME

SUGAWARA-SAN

hot mama:

shush u know hes joking

y'aint:

im not

killing creepers for gunpowder to make my explosives yk

y'all:

HELPVJSIFJSJX

that bitch:

ANYWAYS

sweetie pie:

ayo who wants to team to find some diamonds

iluvvolleyball: 

ok

bokuto's #1 fan:

I'll join.

y'aint:

alright sure

epic gaymers:

losers

making a team to find diamonds 🙄👎

tsukki but cursive:

sorry not everyone is a game junkie like you

epic gaymer:

a whatnow?

hot mama:

SHUT SHUT AND CHILL

momiwa:

kogane got a pig- im so proud 🥺🥺

kawaii bird:

IM GONNA CALL IT SAKU

momiwa:

oho thats very cute

hot mama:

OK STOP TEXTING LETS PLAY 

* * *

y'all:

...

epic gaymer:

?

momiwa:

who

killed

SAKU

kawaii bird:

HES GONE AAAAAAAAAAAAA

y'aint:

tsumu,,,

y'all:

I AINT DO NOTHIN HELLO

bokuto's #1 fan:

You clearly did something.

momiwa:

MIYA ATSUMU 

y'all:

YES SIR

sweetie pie:

sorry to interupt but WHO TF STOLE MY SHARE OF DIAMONDS 

hot mama:

STEALING?!??!?!?!?!?!?

KILLING?!?!?!??!!??@

that bitch:

YALL I GOT A WOLF AND NAMED IT IWA-CHAN

momiwa:

STFUUUUUU

that bitch:

RUDE

bokuto's #1 fan:

Someone stole your diamonds, Yahaba-kun?

iluvvolleyball:

guys guys

i have 64 diamonds now

very epicc

epic gaymer:

the cult pit appears

kawaii bird:

ATSUMU-SAN WHT DID YOU KILL SAKU :((((

y'all:

I DIDNT?1?1?1?1??÷'

y'aint:

he did

sweetie pie:

YOU THIEF YOU THIEF AAAAAA RETURN NY DIAMONFS KAGEYAMA

that bitch:

TEAM UP ON TOBIO-CHAN

iluvvolleyball:

you wouldnt win

i have diamond sword

u use wooden

that bitch:

EZCUSE ME

momiwa:

ATSUMU UR GONNA PAY

y'all: 

BUT I DIDNT KILL

kawaii bird:

THE TRUH

momiwa:

FESS THE FUCK UP 

y'all:

FINE I WAS HUNGRY OKAY

THE ONLY NEARBY FOOD WAS A PIG NAMED SAKU DO WHAT U GOTTS XO

epic gaymer:

where tf is semi and shirabu

that bitch:

making out in a minecraft bed 🙄👎

SEMI WHY DID U KILL ME

spicy hot:

bitch

tsukki but cursive:

what ew

kawaii bird:

ATSUMU SAN GET ME A NEW PIG PLS

momiwa:

GET HIK A NEW PIG

y'all:

FINE FINE

sweetie pie: 

KAGEYAMA MY DIAMONDS

NOW

RIGHT N9W

bokuto's #1 fan:

Chaotic.

y'aint:

very

bokuto's #1 fan:

...

epic gaymer:

hes smiling

y'aint:

at what

iluvvolleyball:

you have to fight me yahaba san

sweetie pie;

KCJWHXJJSJXKA

CISJCJSNX

FINE U CAN HAVE THE DIAMONDS 😒😒

WELL NONE OF YOU BETTER GO KILL MY WOLF

that bitch:

dOnt kiLl kYoUkEn

tsukki but cursive:

YOU NAMED IT AFTER UR BOYFRIENXCIJWNCS BAHAHAHAHHAHA

sweetie pie:

KYOUTANI IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND

IT JUST REMINDED ME OF HIM

that bitch:

YEAH SURE

AND WHETE IS SEMI 

I NEED REVENGE

spicy hot:

ayo

in a cave rn

that bitch:

so thats where u escaped to 

tsukki but cursive:

that bitch:

how tf do u do a blank messgae????

hot mama:

messgae

epic gaymer:

messgae

spicy hot:

messgae

iluvvolleyball:

messgae????

that bitch:

STALPH

spicy hot:

yall i found a portal to the end

whos coming

epic gaymer:

count me in

bokuto's #1 fan:

I will join in. Kageyama, please come along.

iluvvolleyball:

ok mom 3

bokuto's #1 fan:

mom..3?

y'aint:

ill join if atsumu doesnt

hot mama:

whwre did he go?

y'aint:

getting kogane kun a pig while moniwa san chases him

hot mama:

o h

* * *

sweetie pie:

ive fucking

HAD IT

WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO KILL MY FUCKING 

WHO 

WHO KILLED KYOUKEN

HELLO BITCHES ANSWER ME

y'aint:

we are in the end, sooooo

spicy hot:

kageyama is strugglinh w the egg, osamu and akaashi are running around trying to kill a enderman for a ender pearl to go to the end city portal, while kenma is getting annoyed-

tsukki but cursive:

and what are you doing

spicy hot:

watchin it all go down

sweetie pie:

I DONT GIVE TQO FUCKS ABT UR END ESCAPADES FOR WHATEVER

I WANNA KNOW WHO IN THIS HOUSE OF IDIOTS KILLED KYOUKEN

bokuto's #1 fan:

Excuse me? I will make my way out of this end portal and find my way straight over to your location and brutally bully you if you don't decide to take that back.

epic gaymer:

x2

hot mama:

TIMES THRES

spicy hot:

x4

y'aint:

x5

sweetie pie:

OK AKAASHI, OSAMU, SEMI, KENMA AND SUGA ARENT THE IDIOTS

DONT ATTACK ME

momiwa:

what :)))))))))

sweetie pie:

FINE MONIWA TOO

tsukki but cursive:

sweetie pie:

UGH WHO KILLES HIM

y'all:

y'aint:

y'aint:

it was atsumu

sweetie pie has gone offline.

y'aint:

so while the pet killer faces his impending doom

who wants to play among us tomorrow

spicy hot:

we should play TOS

the og

hot mama:

but dont you have to pay for most of the stuff

bokuto's #1 fan:

I am almost certain its free. I think to start the game you would have to watch a ad for a ticket? We should play Among Us though.

y'aint:

yes 

bokuto's #1 fan:

:)

spicy hot:

ok ok

y'all:

HELPCJSJ JQII39GI2I3HCHW

that bitch: 

so what r yalls among us colors 

epic gaymer:

red

spicy hot: 

purple

y'all:

HELLO????

y'aint:

i go w black

hot mama:

orangeeeeee

y'all:

NOW KOGANE KUN AND MONIWA SAN ARE VCOMIJG

tsukki but cursive changed y'all's name to cold blooded killer

cold blooded killer:

THE WOLF WAS ATTACK,ISNC

that bitch:

anyway

i use teal because yeah

bokuto's #1 fan:

I use yellow.

epic gaymer:

black and yellow black and yellow

tsukki but cursive:

white 

y'aint:

ok i guess we play among us tomorrow

cold blooded killer:

HELL ME

THEY HAVE DIAMOND SWOETDS FROM WHERE

iluvvolleyball:

me

and they are enchanted

sorry atsumu sam

cold blooded killer:

TOBIO KUN 

HELLO HELP ME

WHY ARE YALL LURKING AROUND AND STANDING THERE PLS

IM GONNA BE KILLED FOR THIS BRUTALLY MURDERED

THEY HAVE DIAMOND SWORDS THERE GONNA ATTACK ME

y'aint:

as

they 

should

that bitch: 

im so happy this chapter wasnt targeted at me 😌

bokuto's #1 fan:

You are the author's favourite here. That is why they most chapters are targeted to you.

spicy hot:

she really out here picking favourites

epic gaymer:

ur saying that like ur not a favourite

bokuto's #1 fan:

Well, I was told that Semi-san is actually in third place for favourite setter.

spicy hot:

ok i take it back

hot mama:

this should have ended at "as they should"

but tooru HAD to say something 🙄

that bitch:

OKAY FINE CHAPTER DONE

cold blooded killer:

HELP ME

sweetie pie:

shouldnt have killed kyouken 

that bitch:

hehe happy no one came for iwa-chan <3

cold blooded killer:

BUT TOBIO STOLE

I GIVE UP

y'aint:

as

you

should

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grr give me love on  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/oikawacakes)
> 
> my priv is aiurachan ♡
> 
> also uh i have planned chapters but i still have to write them hhhhhh


End file.
